Audiophiles: Where Does It End?

I'm an audiophile, although I often resist the label. Part of the reason is the tendency of the breed towards excess.

Upscale retailer Hammacher Schlemmer, who can always be counted on to go too far, has debuted this sassy little number, the Acoustic Immersion Pod.

According to the website:

This is the pod that immerses a listener in an acoustically optimized chamber, providing an enveloping audio experience with its robust six-speaker surround sound system (Play Video). Its interior is lined with open-cell acoustic foam--the same used in recording studios--that deflects, disperses, and absorbs sound waves, creating a personal sound environment that will not disturb those nearby. Providing a frequency response of 20 Hz-20 kHz for a full range of sound ideal for movies, sporting events, music, or games, the system is comprised of five 5 1/4" 40-watt mid- to high-range speakers built into the pod's ceiling (providing 80 watts peak output) and one 10" 250-watt subwoofer speaker under the seat. The system meets the 5.1 standard (the same used in commercial and home theater systems), and the subwoofer's 500-watt peak output makes the padded 17" wide seat resonate, placing a listener in the immediate vicinity of on-screen explosions, orchestral chords, or World Cup matches. Both a 5.1 and 2.1 sub-amplifier component are included to drive the speakers. High-density plastic construction. Red shell with red foam or Black with gray foam. 58" H x 34" W x 36" D. (120 lbs.)

At US$3000 it's not cheap, but few things in audiophile land are. Stylewise, it looks like something from a 1960's movie about what the future will look like. As far as how it sounds, well, I imagine that is very much in the ear of the beholder.

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Best Custom Installation Ever

Courtesy of the fine folks at ThereIFixedit.com

Remember: Measure twice, cut once.

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Primerica Getting An IPO, But Are Investors As Easily Duped As Their Recruits?

Clearly we're seeing the light at the end of the economic tunnel when the banks start offering ludicrous Initial Public Offerings again.

Primerica, Citigroup's red-headed MLM stepchild is being spun off and taken public.

Clusterstock: Meet Primerica, The New Wall Street IPO That's Really A Multi-Level Marketing Scheme

Citigroup (C) has officially priced the IPO of its spinoff of Primerica.
At $15 per share, the pricing went strong.
Warburg Pincus will pick up 22% to 33% of shares and Citigroup will retain 32% to 46% of equity, which it will divest after Primerica begins trading.
But will investors buy Primerica's stock?
That depends if they can figure out what Primerica actually does first.

For pretty much as long as Primerica has existed, it's been a flash-point for controversy over it's shady recruiting practices. All you have to do is Google them, and you'll see for yourself. Expert Fraud Investigator Tracey Coenen has pilloried them on several occasions, and she's not alone.

When I worked in retail sales, I averaged one or two contacts a week with Primerica "reps" who would waste my valuable on-commission time, only to offer me their so-called opportunity. When I was still young, I would be civil, thinking I still might be able to get a sale out of them. Eventually, I realized that, if they had any money to buy the luxury goods I sold, they wouldn't have become Primerica reps in the first place.

Fact: Real financial advisers are too busy either advising their clients on financial matters, or looking for more clients to advise. What they aren't doing is cruising shopping malls looking to recruit new sales reps: real financial planning companies have HR departments for that.

Whatever Primerica is good for, it isn't making their sales reps rich, since the average Primerica rep makes $5,156 a year. Bike messengers make more than that, and hardly anyone spits on them in public.

About the only value Primerica generates aside from the half a billion dollars it funnels up to the top of the pyramid is the click-through ad revenue that it generates for blogs and websites that criticize them. Apparently their 100,000 rep workforce has so much time on their hands that they constantly surf for sites critical of Primerica and leave thousands of flaming spam comments defending the company.

Wouldn't their time be better spent trying to make money? One would think so.

Back on track, the big question this IPO raises is: is there enough dumb money to buy this stock? Certainly, the average Primerica rep is priced out of becoming a shareholder.

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This Week In Great Moments In Marketing

A friend of mine snapped this pic of a Hanes ad as he was going through security at JAX. Aside from the fact that I'm impressed that he got away with taking a picture in an alleged "high security" environment, I'm amused, flabbergasted, and kind of appalled at the targeted advertising in this particular venue.

It just goes to show that there is always an opportunity!

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If Palm Falls, Will Anyone Care?

I was roused from my slumber by the news that Palm's smartphone sales haven't been doing so hot.

Business Insider: Palm Sold Only 408,000 Smartphones Last Quarter

Specifically, Palm's smartphone sellthrough was just 408,000 units last quarter, down 29% q/q and down 15% y/y. This is worse than expected -- remember, a year ago, the Pre wasn't even on the market yet. Mike Abramsky of RBC was expecting 650,000 units, for instance.

It's kind of apples to oranges (sorry), but in addition to the 7.5 million iPhones in a Quarter that the article references, consider how it's been estimated that Apple sold 120,000 iPads on the first day of pre-orders. That's without people even being able to go to a store and hold one in their hands.

The comments below the Business Insider story are well worth reading for their insight, not least of which is the observation that Palm's advertisements suck. I had to laugh at the radio spots I heard this past Christmas, with a teen voice saying "WOW, a Palm Pre! Thanks Mom!"

In what universe are you going to find a teen who covets a Palm above all other phones?

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This Week In Marketnews: Conclusion Of The Image Constraint Token Series

This Week In Marketnews: Custom Corner: Image Constraint Token - Real Threat Or Tempest In A Teapot? Part 3

As someone who previewed my article said to me, "I agree that the studios’ lack of response is very telling." Another person familiar with the matter said anonymously, "This may well be the last nail in Blu-ray's coffin."

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This Week In Marketnews: Custom Corner: Image Constraint Token Part 2

Marketnews: Custom Corner: Image Constraint Token - Real Threat or Tempest in a Teapot? Part 2

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This Week In Marketnews: The Image Constraint Token

Marketnews: Custom Corner: Image Constraint Token - Real Threat or Tempest in a Teapot? Part 1

* image courtesy of the HDMI Sucks Facebook group, used without permission.

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Tired Of Taleb?

Theodore Sturgeon famously said "80% of everything is crap." I remain convinced that if he had lived to see the Internet, he would have revised his figures substantially upward.

How that quote is relevant is because I was disappointed by this guest column on the normally thoughtful and insightful Infectious Greed blog (which defies the odds by usually being 80% good) by author Pablo Triana:

Paul Kedrosky's Infectious Greed: Guest Post: Nassim Taleb Got It Right

Unless you're just now tuning into the world financial crisis, I'm struggling to see what insight this essay has to offer, beyond a lot of back patting, which is somewhat redundant given how self-sufficient Taleb is when it comes to very public acts of self-congratulation. That, and telling us, again and repeatedly, what he's already told us many times before.

As a reader of Taleb's work I have to wonder at his self-exemption from his own line of reasoning from Fooled By Randomness.

Take a big enough sample of mathematicians and economists, and like the proverbial monkeys with typewriters, Taleb would argue that just as a large enough sample of investors will produce someone as wealthy as Warren Buffett, it's inevitable that one of them would be right about what was going to happen.

If it was someone else, he'd call them a product of survivor bias, but because it just happened to be him, that make him a genius.

Besides, the fact that this Taleb is correct is a sample size of one, which anyone tell you is meaningless, but of all the possible economic scenarios, what about the average across all possible Talebs? Would the deviation across the Taleb mean be significant? Would all possible Taleb's be mostly-wrong, or mostly-right? If you buy into Fooled By Randomness, this is important!

More than one commentator has begun to think that Taleb is growing tiresome. At the risk of sounding cute, he's gone from being a Cassandra to being a broken record.

I don't begrudge Taleb his passion for appearing on television, but if he's going to keep up his schedule of media appearances, it's time to stop telling us what he began telling us ten years ago.

It's time to pull the self-congratulation train into the station, and tell us what he thinks is going to happen in the next ten years, and start dining out on that, if and when he happens to be right.

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Twitter Spammers Are Suckers

As readers of Lee Distad's Professional Opinion are doubtless aware, I'm a relative newcomer to Twitter.

As a social media tool, Twitter certainly has it's uses. Conversely, the Twitter spammers, who think that accumulating millions of followers will make them rich have no real use at all, except as a cash cow for "Social Media Gurus" to peddle get-rich-quick schemes.

Both anti-fraud blogger Tracey Coenan and Upstart Blogger have good posts on just how ridiculous Twitter Spam marketing programs are. I just want to take the time to address some of the salesmanship used to market one such program, called Brute Force Twitter:

Did you know a 10,000-person reach FM radio station in a town of 200,000 people is worth $3-15 million? Now compare that to the list of 74,000 people on Twitter that I built for FREE in just 2 and ½ months… usually spending no more than 15-25 minutes a day on it.

That's a ludicrous non sequitor, and I'll tell you why:

*That radio station's valuation is arrived at only by selling that much advertising airtime.

*Advertisers will only pay that much if enough listeners are tuned in.

*Listeners will only tune in if the radio station plays something they want to hear.

And that last part is the catch, isn't it?

If you actually have a blog or a website or whatever that offers real goods and services, or even just news and commentary that people might actually be interested in, then you can use Twitter to market yourself.

On the other hand, if you've just paid a hundred bucks for a course that tells you to "start selling a course at $100 a pop on gathering Twitter followers," then you're not really offering anybody much of anything.

Those millions of other Twitter Spammers? They already paid somebody else $100, they're not going to buy it from you!

Do you have something to say? Then maybe other Twitter users will follow you. An endless retread of posts that say "Get rich now, ask me how!" and unoriginal motivational quotes cribbed from BrainyQuote.com aren't the kind of content that will make people not only follow, but listen.

Tell you what, send me $100 via the PayPal link to the left of the page, and I'll tell you how to not be a sucker.

Alternatively, you can go to SocialMediaDouchebag.com and learn how to get eleventy-billion Twitter followers in 3.68 seconds.

You decide.

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Royal Bank Of Scotland Still Foundering

What's the Gaelic word for schadenfreude?

At this moment, RBS is hovering at $3.16 a share. That's equivalent to 15.8 cents a share before their ill considered 2o:1 reverse split.

On the bright side, the UK government seems to have a bottomless appetite for shoring them up, so who knows where the bottom might really lie?

Maktoob: Royal Bank of Scotland expects annual loss up to 8.0 bn pounds

Royal Bank of Scotland, majority-owned by the taxpayer because of the credit crisis fallout, said Monday it estimated an underlying annual loss of up to 8.0 billion pounds (11.9 billion dollars)."
Credit and market conditions in the fourth quarter of 2008 were particularly challenging and RBS estimates the group will report for full year 2008 an attributable loss, before exceptional goodwill impairments, of between 7.0 and 8.0 billion pounds," RBS said in a trading update

**The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Distad. This commentary may contain forward looking statements and definetely contains sarcasm and rude sentiments. This commentary in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or investment advice. If you're looking for stock picks from me, look somewhere else. Really, what were you thinking? If you came here because you were trolling Google looking for someone to help you get rich in only twenty minutes a month, you need to seriously re-evaluate your worldview. This blog is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author, and not neccessarily in that order.

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Canadian Government Promises Nortel Aid. Wait, What?

This just in, from the Department of "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?"

Yahoo!: Canadian government to aid Nortel after bankruptcy filing

Canadian government Wednesday offered aid to Nortel Networks after the telecom giant filed for bankruptcy protection in the Canada and the US.
"The government of Canada appreciates the importance of the telecommunications industry to our economy and will continue to work with Nortel during its restructuring through Export Development Canada (EDC)," Industry Minister Tony Clement said in a statement.
The EDC agreed to provide up to 30 million Canadian dollars (24 million US) in short-term financing and is open to discussing with Nortel financing with other financial institutions, he said.

Somebody, anybody, please tell me where the sense is in this announcement. Even as an empty promise intended to curry favor with the electorate, it just doesn't work.

This bailout nonsense has long since jumped the shark. Rest assured, we here at the global headquarters of Lee Distad's Professional Opinion fully intend to belly up to the public trough make our case to the legislators that the blogging industry, and ourselves in particular, need a multi-billion dollar federal bailout.

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Truth Funnier Than Satire At Chrysler

The ersatz Big Three Bailout ad that I posted yesterday is droll, but not nearly as hysterically funny as the masthead on the splash page of one of Chrysler's websites:

Chrysler:

It's not a bailout to keep us from failing.

IT'S A LOAN TO HELP US SUCCEED

Oh, please. It's a little late for that, isn't it?

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CE Pro Editor Hosed On Amazon TV Deal

Senior CE Pro Editor Julie Jacobson bought a TV through Amazon.com, and blogs about what a hassle it's been.

CE Pro: Amazon Dupes Consumers with Misleading Offers of Free White Glove Delivery

So How Does White Glove Delivery Work?
The ad on Amazon.com says, "After your purchase, an agent will call you within five days to arrange delivery."I wasn't exactly sure how that would work, so I called TigerDirect — the reseller that sold me the goods through Amazon.As detailed in my original story, TigerDirect — which charged me $62 for the so-called free delivery — said the onus was on Amazon, not Tiger, to cover the white glove service.In turn, Amazon claimed it was up to TigerDirect.

Ironically, the biggest and costliest consumer horror shows happen when shoppers try to cut corners and "save a buck."

In the past, when potential clients have tried to shake me down for a rock bottom discount, I've told them that there are two types of installation companies: ones that will cut their own throat to make a deal, and ones that will finish the job properly; the choice is theirs.

As an expert at what I do, I believe in hiring experts to do things that I can't or won't do. When I had tile and laminate laid down in my house last year, I hired a reputable flooring company, selected the nicest materials I could afford, and paid for the labour for expert flooring guys to install it. They were done in a week, and it was money well spent. Given my basic philosophy, it would have been hypocritical of me to cut corners in the name of "saving a buck."

By contrast, I know some cheapskates who tried to cut corners on their home renovation by having their uncle's sister's cousin who's a contractor do the work on his days off with materials that may or may not have fallen off of a truck. Two years later, their house is still in ruins, and their contractor relative only returns their calls intermittantly. Way to save a few bucks guys.

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Over At GadgetTalk: Railing Against Popups

MarketnewsGadgetTalk: What’s With All The Popups?

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Investment Bourbons: WTF?

I'm no stranger to the notion of people squirelling away their favorite tipple as an investment I(and Vinography.com is an excellent resource when it comes to that), but this might be going too far.

Men's Journal: Investment Bourbons

The news is in, and, frankly, it’s not good: Aged bourbons are growing scarce, and the remaining bottles are facing price hikes…when you can find the good stuff at all. However, there is a silver lining, as there often is with a limited natural resource: If you know which quality bourbons to look for, you could turn your taste for fine spirits into a way to beat the NASDAQ.

On the other hand, you might want to consider that stocking up on a case or three of high class booze is a clever hedge against inflation. Even if your brand doesn't go up in price due to scarcity and demand, it may well go up due to a weakening dollar. What then?

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Quick thoughts on the (latest) AIG scandal

There's a fair amount of outrage in the US Congress, the media and the blogosphere about AIG's profligate behavior in the wake of their bailout.

CNN: Lawmakers steamed over ritzy AIG retreat after bailout

Days after it got a federal bailout, American International Group Inc. spent $440,000 on a posh California retreat for its executives, complete with spa treatments, banquets and golf outings, according to lawmakers investigating the company's meltdown

The invoice, over on Smoking Gun

You would think that a bunch of monkeys clever enough to wrangle themselves into the corner office would have had a hell of a lot better instincts for political survival to know to keep their heads down when Congress is itching to play Whack-a-mole with potential corporate scapegoats.

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More lefty, populist fiddle-faddle from Ben Stein

Not content with his legacy as a TV and Film character actor, former speechwriter for President Nixon, and beloved game show host, Ben Stein has been working furiously in print and Internet as an economic pundit, and sometimes not doing it all that well.

Yahoo Finance: How to Ruin the U.S. Economy

Most of his 12 points are sensible, in the way that Glaucon would have replied to Plato "Well, a reasonable man would agree!"

I was on-board until Ben got to number six.

6) Allow the creation of large betting pools called "hedge funds" that can move markets and control the outcome of trading, thus taking a forum for savings and retirement for families and making it into a rigged casino game that exists primarily to fleece suckers like ordinary working men and women.

Seriously, I have to ask what kind of fairy tale world Mr. Stein thinks he inhabits? Does he really think that the equity markets should be a magical kingdom where his hypothetical "working men and women" can invest their wages with zero risk and all return?

How is his point any less naive than the rioting investors in Karachi who demanded that the Pakistani government should pass laws to ensure "that stocks only ever go up"? What a great idea!

Newsflash: risk and reward are not correlated at 1:1. And, um, markets move. Sometimes a lot. Without any volatility, there wouldn't be any losses, but neither would there be any gains. Anybody who's uncomfortable with that should put their cash in a coffee can and bury it in the back yard.

Sadly, invective like his plays well to the crowd that wants to blame "the Man" for their problems, but doesn't do much to further their grasp of the real issues at play.

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Planar screws up again: SO the drama!

So, yesterday a $3,995 HD projector was available yesterday for $599 on clearance site Woot.com

CE Pro: Planar on WOOT: What Do You Think?

The projectors are going for $599.99 – about $3,400 less than the original MSRP, when the 900-lumen, 720p product debuted in 2007.I've heard from several dealers and reps who are somewhat ticked off, but primarily they are simply befuddled.From one dealer: "LMAO." From another: "These poor bananas. …"Industry folks are wondering if this move represents "just another misstep" by Planar, which has revamped its product lines and business strategies since it acquired Runco in 2007 – giving Planar products to Runco dealers, keeping distribution, dropping distribution ….

For what it's worth, I advised several friends that this was a squeal of a deal, and if they wanted a bargain on a projector, this was it.

However, I have to ask Planar "was it worth it?" Read the furious comments on CE Pro from Planar dealers who are incensed that Planar has pulled the rug out from under them. Although I I can only assume "Steve @2:59" was being sarcastic when he said "I heard that they plan on making Runco a profitable Company and then sell them off, which is probably in the best interest to the Runco brand. Hey, if they could do it to their own, they can certainly do it to the acquired." Seriously, has he looked at Planar's numbers for the past two years? Yuck.

Every time we turn around, Planar seems to be doing something strange, like playing games with their dealer network. And then there was that whole Human Resources fracas a few months ago, that I'm not even allowed to talk about any more. *cough*

Perhaps their biggest problem is a lack of focus. "Oooh, we're an industrial signage company!" followed by "Oooh, now we're a home theatre company!" Who knows what they're going to be next year?

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Petters Group investigated, adds drama to CE biz

It's not every day that you see allegations of outright fraud in the CE business. Thank Minnesota-based Petters Group for livening up our day on the CE beat.

TWICE: Petters Group, CEO, Under Investigation

According to reports published in the Minnesota Star Tribune, the government is investigating whether CEO Tom Petters and his associated companies raised funds from investors for the purchase and resale of consumer electronics that didn't exist, then used the money for other purposes.
Petters markets a number of CE devices under the Polaroid-brand license. In 2005, Petters bought the Polaroid brand from the holding company created in the wake of the original Polaroid’s bankruptcy.
According to an affidavit unsealed in court, Petters is said to have created sham companies to show investors that money was being used to manufacture and sell goods through retailers such as Sam’s Club. An informant planted recording devices in Petters’ Minnesota headquarters. In those recordings, Petters was claimed to say he would have to flee the country if his activities were unearthed.

How exciting! Doubtless more details will follow. I don't think the CE biz has had a really big fraud scandal since the Crazy Eddie story in the 1980's, but maybe one of my readers with a better memory can enlighten us.

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