Sunday, September 30, 2007

Tonight's Literary Endeavors Are Brought To You By Lagunitas Brewery


The Lagunitas Brewery in Petaluma, CA make some fantastic micro brews. I'm half in the bag right now, courtesy of their astonishingly great products.

Their ad copy needs some work, however. The following is to be entered as Exhibit A:

Lagunitas Imperial Stout



Having downed his forth Imperial Stout of theay, the wild eyed charlatan from Voldvostogniaky belched and hollered for the Czarina to enter his chamber and bend herself to his will. The economy was a wreck and revolt was just around the corner. Nicky the Czar dude was off playing soldier like any pale nobleman wioth a hemorrphagic skin condition would. Such were the final days of the old empire. Reactionary, decadent, sputnik, stroganoff, wierd, and drunk. But even as the proletariat countryside labored under inhuman conditions and a threat of being sent to futile war in the east, they wisely took the time to slam back an Imperial Stout or two. After all, life can be a real "suka", as they say in the old country. Big, black, bourgeois, bolshoy, belligerent, buxom, and scary - this is our version of the chaotic end of an era in a bottle.


Thanks for your trust, and as always:Think Globally, Drink Locally!!


That would be a lot more hilarious if it wasn't for all the painful typos. On the bright side, it's obvious that the fine folks at Lagunitas appreciate their own brews as much as anybody!


I've offered them my copy writing services, I'll let you know if they take me up on it!

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

A proper salute would be:


Shto-bee xoo-ee (pronounce the x as a guteral CH) sto-yall E bob-key bee-lee!


May you have plenty of money and a hard on.

--

Learned that at Leningrad State University - 1986.