Pennsylvania wants to be Wall Street West

From the "Truth is stranger than fiction" Department:

Dealbreaker: Wall Street, PA
What’s more conceivable: that there’ll be another terrorist attack on par with 9/11 or that Pennsylvania could be a stand-in for Wall Street in the event of the former coming to blows? If you’re one of the officials from the Keystone State trying to “capitalize on fears of the chaos another terrorist attack might cause in New York’s financial industry,” and hocking your product, “Wall Street West,” you’re probably crossing your fingers and hoping for both.Catherine A. Bolton, project director of the Wall Street West consortium, maintains that PA—the Poconos specifically—is ideal because , at 100 miles west of Manhattan, it is out of the “theoretical blast zone” (to beat the terrorists, you must think like the terrorists) but still close enough to link directly to the machines running the banking and trading systems.

I think that the Wall Street West consortium needs to hire The Beach Boys to record a version of "Kokomo" to promote their hare-brained forward thinking vision of a new finance center.

Baby we'll build a bank in Poconos

We'll get big fees, and the rates are low

We'll set up trading shops, and sell credit default swaps

That's where we wanna go

Way down in Poconos

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