Monday, April 23, 2007

Sheryl Crow Calls For Unilateral Reductions On Toilet Paper

In case any of you were still in the dark about how far out of touch the left coast's limosine liberalism movement was, there's today's adorable proclaimation from entertainer Sheryl Crow:

BBC: Crow calls for limit on loo paper

Singer Sheryl Crow has said a ban on using too much toilet paper should be introduced to help the environment.
Crow has suggested using "only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required".

Easy for her to say. I mean, look at her!

I would expect that her eliminations are the size of rabbit pellets, and composed almost entirely of bran and undigested pine nuts.

Go visit the McDonalds in your local Wal-mart, take a good look at the patrons, and then tell me that her idea has any merit at all.

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MisterRiddle said...

It's obvious that after a while, in spite of how fine her ass is, that not even Lance could put up with her talking. And he knows pain and suffering, he's been through cancer!

Don't they already make cloth napkins? Didn't people go to paper because cloth napkins suck up too much energy to clean?

I don't see her touring on greyhound and flying coach, or living in a 1200 sq. ft. house, so she can shut the fuck up.

Once she starts living in a yurt enclave in Malibu, burning yak dung for cooking fuel, and wiping with her left hand, then I'll listen.

Charles U. Farley said...

Dear Ms. Crow,

A little something from those of us who live in "fly-over" country.

Traveling the country with Laurie David in your bio-diesel bus (with side jaunts in private jets here there and everywhere) extolling the virtues of conservation kind of misses the mark -- don't cha think? An endless stream of parties, couture (tell me miss thing, why can't you wear the same thing twice in public? your clothing consumption drives the child slave trade in many a 3rd world country) and White House Press Corp dinners aren't enough? You live the life of unecessary consumption. LEAD BY EXAMPLE OR SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Furthermore, you obviously have no understanding of men. I can appreciate your need for wanting us to conserve. I am all for that...resources are finite and we are morally obligated to take only that which we need (hint hint). But Honey Bunny, don't get in the way of a man wanting to take a proper rumpity. Us, the unwashed masses and culturally impaired enjoy a good bowel movement. After crotch humor, belching and other sophomoric pursuits...a trip to drop a deuce is one of the Freudian pursuits my Id and Ego can both agree on.

If done right, once square just ain't gonna do it. Are you still hung up on the Seinfeld episode with Jamie Gertz? At least proffer up some original thought for Christ's sake, taking from Laruie's husband just doesn't cut it.

You are so out of touch with John Edward's "other America". Having you Hollywood types tells us how to conduct our lives is an oxymoron of the highest order. You will starve yourself, go under the knife and pimp your privacy for fame and money...that makes you the slave...and the consumer the master.

Lead, follow or get the fuck out of the way....but no matter how you slice it...know your place.

Chuck U. Farley