Chrysler tells workers: Don't go away mad. Just go away. Here's $100K, get yourself something nice.

AP: Chrysler to offer some 49,600 hourly workers in the U.S. up to $100,000 to leave company
Chrysler Group will offer some of its 49,600 hourly U.S. workers at select plants up to $100,000 to leave the company as part of a recovery plan announced earlier this month. The company, which lost $1.475 billion in 2006 and said it expects losses to continue through 2007, said on Feb. 14 that it intends to shed 13,000 jobs, including 11,000 hourly positions and 2,000 salaried, as it tries to further shrink itself to match reduced demand for its products.

My advice: Take the money. When the outlook for your employer is this grave, get while the getting is good. Typically, in next round of buyouts and layoffs, employers who are in crisis aren't nearly as generous as they were at first.

A corollary to this rule is that when it comes time to leave a job that has become drudgery for you, never quit. Always, always, always, provoke them into firing you. As long as you haven't commited a crime, you are going to get severance pay. If they dismiss you because you're kind of an asshole, then it's payday. No less than three of my former mentors at various firms, all with ten to twenty years on the job have pulled this stunt, and the result is a big fat final paycheck.

To be fair, here's some sound advice for employers: make sure your separation paperwork is immaculate. At Sony, I was expressly coached to ensure that my files on my staff were absolutely complete. If I wanted to jettison someone, for any reason, I was free to do so, on the condition that I had a crystal clear paper trail of disciplinary notes leading up to the employees dismissal. Many employers fail miserably at keeping comprehensive files (see also my essay "No One Likes HR Managers" ), and it costs them. In the three cases I mentioned above, my former bosses sued for wrongful dismissal, and ended up with even bigger settlements than they were originally offered.

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