Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Secrets to sucessful new hire placements


I'm not normally one for repeating jokes that arrive in my inbox. However, this was droll, and plays to my ambivalent feelings about the challenges in recruiting new hires.

Proper Job Placement

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.

2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.

3. Leave them alone and come back after six hours.

4. Then analyze the situation:

· If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.

· If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.

· If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

· If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

· If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.

· If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

· If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

· If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

· If they say they have tried different combinations and they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

· If they have already left for the day, put them in Management.

· If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.

· If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

· Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Government!

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1 comment:

Flatland Pastor said...

One more - If bricks come flying at you when you open the door consider yourself involved in a "hostile takeover". If you survive, hire them as corporate raiders.