Or, at the very least, Headline Pointing Out the Obvious of the Year:
Yahoo!: Mitchell Report may not have shut door on steroid use
Yahoo!: Mitchell Report may not have shut door on steroid use
Let's all give Yahoo! News a big Thank You for that cutting and insightful conclusion.
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1 comment:
I say bring it out into the light. Register the players and their team doctors. Have the pharmaceutical companies sponsor their favorite teams and/or athletes. Make them wear the drug logos on their jerseys and track their health issues in the media even after they leave the field of sporting combat.
Let the next generation of elite athletes make objective choices based on which team/sport/agency takes better care of their stable of human assets. Help those starry-eyed teenagers learn how to safely or at least optimally manage their drug and exercise induced development.
Don't *asterisk* those records! Create whole new categories. Best Performance in a Season on Only Naturally Sourced Enhancers - Top Performance in a Regulated Drug Program - Least Psychotic Personality Under the Influence if Steroids - Outstanding Performance Using Only Blood Doping - and my favorite potential new field of sporting endeavor - Best Genetically Altered Athletic Performance.
C'mon folks, why hold back? This has everything that we watch sports for - high levels of personal risk, off-the-hook training regimens, huge financial endorsements and the potential to idolize a person who really, really, REALLY isn't like ANYBODY else. Well, anybody human anyway.
DOW has been waiting patiently for years for this moment. Now they can finally show us all what "Better Living Through Chemistry" really means.
PUMP IT UP!
*Was that too much? 'Cause my meds have been off a bit late....
OH MY GOD FLYING....DID YOU SEE?!?....RED...THEN BLUE...WAIT! WAIT!
I can handle it! I can handle it!
WHEEZE - PANT*
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